Character
My wife
| C3 |
| Character, Cars, and Computers |
|
|
Character My wife |
Character - My wife
Background
I grew up in the Caribbean before I came to the US. The romance and passion of the Dominican Republic stayed with me through my years as I began to look for the girl I could share it with. As it turned out, it would take quite a while before that happened, but it was worth every second that I waited.
High school was a veritable shooting gallery of opportunities, but like most average guys, I struck out rather consistently, with nary a date to my record. God was with me, though, and the pain of rejection was really not something I had to worry about. In fact, I think I gained much more, from the friendships that I made with girls in high school, than I could have ever possibly gained by having a relationship back then.
Still, I always wondered what it would be like to have someone to call your girlfriend. I had been waiting for a very long time. I had been waiting to share myself with someone special.
God makes a great matchmaker
After my first semester of college, I was introduced to an online chatting service by a friend of mine called WBS. In no time at all, I started chatting with people with ease. One night over Christmas break back in '96, I started chatting in a christian chat room under the nickname of slippers#1. I struck up a conversation with someone named yopeople from Pennsylvania. We probably chatted with each other online for the better part of an hour, and then went our own ways, not knowing whether or not we'd see each other again.
After the new year, I went back online to WBS and christian chat. I wound up bumping into her again - I can only describe the coincidence as not really being one, but instead being God's providence. We started chatting again. This time we exchanged emails.
Her name was Holly, and she is still one of Pennsylvania's most beautiful natural wonders. And so our friendship began.
She and I started writing each other. I learned more and more about her life: about her interests, and what she thought of herself. She learned about my hobbies, my life, and my loneliness. I began to realize as the emails continued that this woman was someone I wanted to share more of my time with: I would always check to see if she wrote me every day. Our friendship deepened into a relationship online. We had yet to meet each other in person.
There was tension at first... cases of online relationships gone bad were already on the news. All the assurance of the honesty that I could give her would still need to be backed up by something even bigger. As I began to actually talk to her over the phone, I realized there was a way to reduce the stress level in our relationship by at least one order of magnitude. Holly and I hatched a plan to get our parents to talk to each other. (Why? I was 19, she was 17, we lived 100 miles apart from each other, and our parents were basically the lawmakers around the house.) When Holly went to get her mom on the phone, I did the same. After a brief introduction, they began conversing with each other.
My mom talked with her almost like she was a long lost friend. The laughter and smiles that I saw on my end were good signs that the plan worked like a charm. Because of our ingenuity, Holly and I were able to begin making plans to meet in person. We would set it up for February 14, 1997: Valentine's Day.
My birthday.
Anticipation
As we exchanged pictures and got closer to seeing each other in person, we told our friends and counted down each day. It was simultaneously one of the most frustratingly long and amazingly wonderful waits we had to endure. We wondered what it would be like and what finally meeting each other would feel like. Then, the final week arrived.
As each day drew down to the Friday we would meet, more and more anticipation built up. Friday morning, my family gave me birthday greetings, then left to go to work and school. I think I wrote one last email, then left to go out myself. Friday morning turned into Friday afternoon. I couldn't keep the good vibes away, and I left my last class with a smile on my face. By the time I got home, Holly and her parents were on their way over. They would still be about 2 hours away.
I got my things together, cleaned up my room, and basically went over everything. If you would have been at my house, you would have seen one nervous college kid pacing around the house. My mom was the first one to get home and see my pacing. As all wonderful mothers do, she helped me get ready and comforted my incredibly amped up nerves. I wanted time to hurry up so she could get here. Then, after another excruciating waiting period, the phone rang.
Holly and her parents arrived at the hotel they would be staying at, no more than 3/4 mile away from my house. As I began to explain to Holly the directions to get here, my incredibly smart mom politely interrupted me and said, "Ramon, why don't you just meet them at the hotel, and have them follow you back here?"
I told Holly I'd be over at the hotel in a few moments and hung up the phone. "Mom - you're a genius," I said, as I kissed her on the forehead and ran out the kitchen door.
With a long-stem rose, I drove down to the Marriott to meet my wonderful woman.
Love Personified
My heart was probably racing as I pulled into the hotel, a big building in Glenpointe quite visible from most any angle. I had driven past here so many times. Now I was meeting someone here.
Holly and her parents walked out to the front lobby. I opened the door for Holly and she got in the car - no longer someone I could only email or call on the phone. I gave her my rose, and my heart. We drove back to my house, her parents following in their car. It wasn't until we actually pulled in my driveway that I got to hug her and her parents, but it was so worth it when I finally did.
Holly, her parents, my mom and I sat down in the living room. It would be a little while before my dad and one of my two sisters got home, but the time flew by. Holly took the time to give me a gift she bought for me. I was honored - I hadn't received a gift from someone in a while, and not in a very long time from a woman. She gave me a two-piece locket: a breakaway charm which is worn by two people. It had a Bible verse inscribed on it: The Lord watch between me and thee, when we are apart from one another.
With my dad finally arriving, my parents and Holly's parents had a chance to really sit down and chat with each other. Holly and I sat down in the dining room as I pulled out family albums. She spent time thumbing through them, and I spent time looking at her. I was beyond joy.
We would later go to the movies that night after a brief birthday celebration with my family. Our original intentions were to see Fools Rush In (Salma Hayek / Matthew Perry), but it was sold out. We made do with Dante's Peak. Movie choice really didn't matter for me that night, though.
I was finally together with her. It was amazing. The person I had kept in touch with over the computer was right next to me. It was truly amazing.
Time Rolls Forward
Unfortunately, just like the movie, the night ultimately had to end. We weren't happy about going our separate ways, but at least I'd see her one more time before she went home the next day. As I dropped her off, I kissed her. It was both passionate and comforting, like being with the person you've waited a long time for. I drove home intoxicated with love. I checked back in at my house. By that point, everyone else was asleep. Somehow, I actually went to bed not too much later.
The next morning, my parents gave me a lift back to the hotel. They also chatted briefly with Holly's parents before they left to run their errands. We all shared a brief breakfast and conversation. Then, as Holly's parents began to get ready to check out, Holly and I shared one last stroll. She was listening to music in her headphones. We walked down the main lobby of the hotel and to an atrium. She asked me if I would be interested in going with her to her junior prom. Once again honored to be invited, I said yes.
We finally left the hotel some 10 minutes later. Her parents dropped me off back at the house, but not until Holly got to say one last goodbye to my sisters. I kissed her and we went our separate ways again. It was hard to give her up. She spent time with her friends later that day, and I went to youth fellowship with my sisters later that night. It was agonizing to be apart after having been together like we were. But ultimately, we did make it through the rest of February. Especially knowing that we'd see each other again in March.
My parents and I drove out to her house in Pennsylvania. It was a beautiful home, complete with two cats. Our parents drove out to spend time together, and we stayed home watching movies and enjoying each other's company. It was a great trip, even if I only basically got to spend that day and the early part of Sunday morning with her.
The pattern would basically repeat itself for the next few months - we saw each other once a month, sharing more and more with each other about our lives, and experiencing life together. It was wonderful to be able to share life with someone who was as interested in sharing her life with me as well. Spring turned into summer, and we began taking buses to see each other (first Greyhound, then Trans-Bridge). That summer was one of the fastest I ever experienced in my life, and also one of the best.
Our bonds with each other deepened. We helped each other through our struggles, shared great times together, and worked through college knowing we could lean on each other. Christmas came and went, and we got to spend the holiday season together. Not much longer after that, in full view of the wonderful life that I had with her, and how I wanted to stay that way, in April of '98, I publicly announced my intentions as I proposed to Holly at our engagement party at her house. Life was good.
Years? More Like One Big Blur
Engagement led to wedding planning, and the years flew by even faster. With the end of college in sight for me, 1998, 1999, and 2000 flew by like top fuel dragsters. It didn't feel like that back then, but with the birth of my niece in June of '98, life around myhouse as it existed was changed forever. My niece affected us all in a way God's blessings can only do. And that was only one of the things going on. One cooperative education work experience led to another. Even though there were some tough times I had in college with my grades, God, Holly, and our families helped me get through. My older sister continued to develop her career aspirations as a journalist, while my oldest sister was discovering more and more about being a mom. My parents were grandparents.
Time was not about to slow down. At all.
Holly was busy masterminding the wedding. Even after my college slip-ups pushed back the wedding date, cool heads made the best of bad situations, revising wedding decor and solidifying plans. After my taking out a loan to complete college, I had money left over to start my life with her.
Let's Get Ready to Get Marriiiiiiiiiiiiieeeeed!!!
2001 was one single rocket blast. January through August screamed through. My collegiate career was complete. Plans fell into place even more for our wedding date, weeks away at this point. Focus built up after the bridal shower. Invitations were received, outfits were checked, tuxedoes were grabbed.
September 11, 2001 happened, affecting everyone that we knew. My family lived in New Jersey, but I had family in New York. (Fortunately, no one lived in the vicinity of downtown Manhattan.) Two people I knew were to have gone into the World Trade Center that day (I thank God they never did). I had actually been in the north tower just the summer before. It was an unbelievable experience, simply because my brain didn't register how real it was. In hindsight, I think the whole world slowed down as they understood the gravity of an event like this.
American grief and shock gave way to mourning and remembrance. Time slowly rolled on, and I rode the bus back home from Pennsylvania with Holly to see my family. (I was originally to have left that incredible day in the morning. I would have been stuck in a traffic jam like none New York had witnessed in probably quite some time.)
We moved on to the wedding day. God gave us beautiful weather, blue skies, warm hearts, and raised spirits as I finally stood at the altar waiting for my beautiful bride. The bridal party, my friends and family, all looked wonderful. My bride looked amazing (and she still does today). The wonderful emotion and joy of that day was an amazing gift from God to us, and I will not soon forget it.
If there's anyone reading this who will be married soon, just wanted to pass along a piece of advice: the actual wedding ceremony will fly by before you even realize that it did. The wedding day will fly by so fast, so don't even try to slow it down. Just enjoy every second of it.
After the wedding ceremony, waking up from the hotel early the next morning (how's quarter of 5 am for ya?), and catching the two plane rides from United, Holly and I finally got down to Orlando, and our honeymoon package in Walt Disney World. It was an amazing honeymoon: there's too much for me to talk about right now, but let's just leave it at this - Holly and I got our own float in a parade at the Animal Kingdom.
Loving for The Long Haul
Holly and I will be celebrating our 3 year wedding anniversary this September. She is the woman that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I have been blessed with a wonderful woman, someone who continues to bring joy and wonder to my life. I thank God for her every day.
Check back to this page occasionally for more updates and more fleshed out stories.